Mara's Musings

Portugese Cocktail

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 04:36:42 GMT

different people have different ways of handling their problems
some people eat away their problems
some people shop away their problems
some people smoke away their problems
and if your me you clean aways your problems
i get into cleaning fits at 2 in the morning where i begin to believe that cleaning the inner canister of my washing machine (where you pour the fabric softner) is a good idea. now let me tell you that this thing hasn't been clean since the mid 80s since the i sincerely doubt that the 6 guys who lived here last year used fabric softner so it was disgusting and i had nothing else better to do with all my energy at 2am sleep was out of the question since you can't sleep ur problems away but im sure there is someone out there who can prove me wrong so i give this thing the works and make up a Portugese cocktail.
For those of you who aren't in the cleaning business a portugese cocktail is a combination of Comet and Bleach. Now for those of you who have any chemistry knowledge know why this is a bad combination but what can i saw i only passed chem with a c, and mr. koob God rest his soul did all that he could with me. When i was a cleaning lady with my mom we used to use the portugese cocktail on the nasiest of showers and toilets (key note is not to breath in when you are using it or have your eyes open) Needless to say i have the cleanest inner washing machine fabric softner cannula thingy of all of comstock st and perhaps all of the Brunz, which seemed like a glorious feat at 2 am....

Ren faire

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 19:03:12 GMT

And then on the 8th day God made the Renaissance Festival in Tuxedo New York....
and there was much rejoicing or there was much of alicia running around in a corset and jingling (because i have lots of jingly belts/necklaces/and jewelry in general)and of course there was consumption of Pickles out of a barrel Hazzzzaaaaa!!!!!!

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 01:45:13 GMT

I dont usually do this but i thought this was a really good book especially this excerpt and i'd like to share it with you...take from it what you will.

A spanish missionary was visiting an island when he came across three Aztec priests. "How do you pray?" the missonary asked. "We have only one prayer," answered one of the Aztecs. "We say, 'God, you are three, we are three. Have pity on us.'" "A beautiful prayer," said the missionary. "But it is not exactly the one that God heeds. I'm going you one that's much better." The padre taught them a Catholic prayer and then continued on his path of evanglism. Years later, when he was returning to Spain, his ship stopped again at the island. From the deck, the missionry saw the three priests on the shore and waved to them. Just then, the three men begn to walk across the water toward him. "Padre! Padre!" one of them called, approaching the ship. "Teach us again that prayer that God heeds. We've forgotten how it goes."
"It doesn't matter", responded the missonary, witnessing the miracle. And he promptly asked God's forgiveness for failing to recognize that God speaks all languages. This story illustrates just what this book is about. Rarely do we realize that we are in the midst of the extraordianry. Miracles occur all around us, signs from God show us the way, angels plead to be heard, but we pay little attention to them because we have been taught that we must follow cetain formulas and rules if we want to find God. We do not recognize that God is wherever we allow Him/Her to enter. Traditional religious practices are important: they allow us to share with others the communal expierence of adoration and prayer. But we must never forget that spiritual expierence is above all a practical expierence of love. And with love, there are no rules.
Some may try to control their emotions and develop strategies for their behavior, others may turn to reading books of advice from "experts" on relationships- but his is all folly. The heart decides, and what it decides is all that really matters. All of us had this expierence. At some point, we have each said through our tears, "I'm suffering for a love that's not worth it." We suffer because we feel we are giving more than we recieve. We suffer because our love is going unrecognized. We suffer because we are unable to imopose our own rules. But ultimately there is no good reason for our suffering, for in every love lies the seed of our growth. The more we love, the closer we come to spiritual expierence. Those who are truly enlightened, those whose souls are illuminated by love, have been able to overcome all of the inhibitions and preconceptions of their era. They have been able to sing, to laugh, and to pray out loud; they have danced and shred what Saint Paul called "the maddness of saintliness". They have been joyful-because those who love conquer the world and have no fear of loss. True love is act of total surrender."~ from the book By the river piedra I sat down and wept by Paulo Coelho

those newark boys

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 22:53:44 GMT

just when i thought my hunter green scrubs made me look like a 5ft tall walking christmas tree, those newark boys make me feel better as they cat call to me blow kisses saying "hey nurse!" "hey beautiful in green!" i surprised myself when i realized that i still knew how to laugh

please remember me

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 04:47:24 GMT

one of my favorite songs its meant to be listened to on hot summer night

"When the dark wood fell before me
And all the paths were overgrown
When the priests of pride say there is no other way
I tilled the sorrows of stone

I did not believe because I could not see
Though you came to me in the night
When the dawn seemed forever lost
You showed me your love in the light of the stars

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me

Then the mountain rose before me
By the deep well of desire
From the fountain of forgiveness
Beyond the ice and fire

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me

Though we share this humble path, alone
How fragile is the heart
Oh give these clay feet wings to fly
To touch the face of the stars

Breathe life into this feeble heart
Lift this mortal veil of fear
Take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears
We'll rise above these earthly cares

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me
Please remember me" Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt

Stepharina

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 04:44:43 GMT

For my baby stephanie:

Baby i'm so proud of you! you finally got into the College of Nursing at Rutgers and it's one of the most difficult nursing programs in the state. I have faith in you my dear that you are destined for great things know that i'm with you 110% of the way. Don't ever forget to follow your dreams.
All the love in the world
mama 'lish

numbers divisible by 3

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 17:04:54 GMT

i am moving...again lol god in heaven mother of the sky above help me...i got the keys to my new apartment in new brunswick this past week and tommorrow im moving down and leaving the renaissance city behind me...one last time...cause i have a feeling this time its for good for reasons best discussed over a cup of coffe if you'd really like to know. I can't do math i'm not going to lie but i am very perceptive and excellent at reading omens and the house number is 9 a number divisible by 3, my favorite number, and i'm taking that as a good omen or at least i hope to. i have no housemates yet and my landlord won't start looking again til august/september which means i have a whole two floor house, porch, backyard, deck all two myself...and i haven't placed a feeling on that yet. i have "inherited" lawn furniture, one unused magnum condom still in its wrapper (ironically i found it in my room lords knows i won't need it but suesie says i should frame it as a momento), a beer pong table with surface painted where you should put the cups, and i know that thousands of male college students are going to scream in horror when i say this but im thinking of sanding down the beer pong table and moving it from the basement to upstairs and using it as a dinning room table since i have no furniture (i am accepting donations of any crap you may have in your basement and don't want), and last but not least i have inherited a grotto (you know a half shell where people put statues of the virgin mary in the backyard) its empty with no statue but i have already went down to abc stores and purchased a statue of the blessed mother and child because like my mother tells me all the time "you need all the help you can get". there will be a housewarming get together later this month i will let you know i expect lots of housewarming plants. should magically find yourself down the turnpike at exit 9 remember that you know a crazy girl lives on Comstock St.

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 15:27:00 GMT

help...i think there is something very very wrong with me....very very wrong....i was listening to the radio with daiene and this song came on and i told her "ohhhh this song is so good" and she said "Alicia, you know this is a backstreet boys song" oh my goodness now i know i have hit rock bottom btw it was the new song Incomplete by the backstreet boys i need help send help quick

pirates

Mon, 30 May 2005 22:01:48 GMT

i would just like to say that i spent all of this past weekend waitressing in a corset at a pirate themed restaurant down in cape may there will be pictures you are warned lol

God send me an angel...

Thu, 26 May 2005 23:07:09 GMT

went to bed last night with a headache not feeling good i was exhausted, woke up sometime around 3am couldn't get back to sleep when i got this morning still a bit tired but there things i still had to, so i started putting away the boxes i still hadn't unpacked from school and their was one box marked fragile it was full of pictures and my ever growing collection of dollar store angels. I put all my pictures out on my nightstand next to bed where i could see all those pictures...and i put my angels out too the chipped and broken ones my favorite one the one vinny gave me for christmas, the one my dad gave me on birthday, the one i bought at 99 cent dreams with broken wings that i ended up glueing together and seeing all pictures and my angels next to one another made me feel calm.

mara

Thu, 26 May 2005 19:29:53 GMT

I was reading a book called "The Enchanted World of Night Creatures" and it said "The dream lover called the Mara was a thief cloaked in darkness. Taking vapor form she slipped into sleeping chamber through tiny chinks and crevices, then assumed the shape of a woman to claim the souls of men." I thought that was intersting just a random thought.

Thu, 26 May 2005 03:26:21 GMT

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O, Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.~St. Francis

Wed, 25 May 2005 04:52:34 GMT

and here is to my baby stephanie who made me realize that maybe what i felt deep down inside wasn't really regret maybe it was just disappointment, im not really sure if that's better but it's just something i can't change

La Belle Sans Regrets

Wed, 25 May 2005 03:56:28 GMT

this is such a beautiful song...one of my favorite's and so good to listen to on a rainy day.

"Chase the dog star
Over the sea
Home where my true love is waiting for me
Rope the south wind
Canvas the stars
Harness the moonlight
So she can safely go
Round the Cape Horn to Valparaiso

Red the port light
Starboard the green
How will she know of the devils I've seen
Cross in the sky, star of the sea
Under the moonlight, there she can safely go
Round the Cape Horn to Valparaiso
Valparaiso

And every road I walked would take me down to the sea
With every broken promise in my sack
And every love would always send the ship of my heart
Over the rolling sea

If I should die
And water's my grave
She'll never know if I'm damned or I'm saved
See the ghost fly over the sea
Under the moonlight, there she can safely go
Round the Cape Horn to Valparaiso"
"Valparaiso- Sting"

Fri, 20 May 2005 17:30:40 GMT

listening to huma makes me feel good, on days when its raining i'm sending another package to china maybe this time i can find a way to squeeze myself inside

"maybe i'll run away today...maybe i'll run away tommorrow...maybe ill get it right someday...when the sun sets west i will follow..."~ huma

Fri, 20 May 2005 03:45:59 GMT

this is why i love my sister

"anyways, I hope the dust has settled a little. Let me know how things are. As always lots of luv, and don't worry one day you will have your turn in Denmark, or Sweeden, or whatever the hell gay ass country you want to go to ;-)

ines"

oh oh my sister rocks even all the way from china

Thu, 19 May 2005 19:07:24 GMT

he said "hunny don't worry about it. It's cold in Denmark anyway, you wouldn't have wanted to go there." HaH i thought to myself I guess I should count my blessing I swear I do (one decade for each) but this time I've had enough.

21

Fri, 13 May 2005 03:59:52 GMT

I hung out with sofia and nicole at tops because sofia is leaving for england tommorrow and won't be back until june it was really good seeing the both of them after that i went out with melissa and daiene for their birthday they both turned 21. we went to fridays and they ordered their girlie drinks that came in this huge pink martini looking glasses. i got them both girlie flip flops and a $20 gift certificate to a spa it was fun. all my stuff is still unpacked i haven't had a moment to breath since i've gotten home just catching up with everyone still got lots more people to see, i'm going into work in new brunswick tommorrow because im covering for a friend and then coming back to newark and possibly watching monster-in-law with melissa and daiene anyone is welcomed to join in. going down to wilwood this weekend with claire and vinny and it will be nice to sea the ocean even though my mother calls wildwood newark by the sea.

Return to the Reinassance city

Thu, 12 May 2005 04:20:38 GMT

you know in the middle of hauling my shit out my dorm room for the third year in a row i turned around to vinny (with whose help i would have not been able to move and would have had to resort to setting on fire instead) and told him "You know i fucking moved across the ocean from one country to another and I had less shit then this, now i can't move all my crap without making to car trips" Here is the updates kids for all of you lj heathens I got hired out by umdnj hospital in newark its a big trauma center and i signed up to work in teh er cause you know how i like to ask for trouble. i'll be working as a nurse extern make 15 an hour, my job is between a nurse aid and an actual nurse, ill be living at home during the week since my shift starts at 7am and teh commute is to much of haul from new brunswick and going done to my apartment in new brunswick on the weekends to see the new brunswick people, you know i try to get out of newark every summer but it always sucks me back in, but at least instead i get paid for it this time :)

Your mother was a coffee table and your father was a toaster!!!!!!

Tue, 03 May 2005 02:54:29 GMT

In case you do not know...I have open office hours from 7pm to 12mid night please come with drama in your life via phone, email, aim or just stop by 202 and I will gladly listen (note this is not sarcastic and is acutally very genuine) for my frequent callers thank you again for a wonderful year the drama in your life distracted me from my own for a few hours of the day. As lucy my favorite peanut character would say the doctor is in (5 cents)

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 03:53:49 GMT

"Suddenly, I knew that you'd have to go.
Your world was not mine, your eyes told me so.
Yet it was there I felt the crossroads of time
and I wondered why.

As we cast our gaze on the tumbling sea,
a vision came o'er me,
of thundering hooves and beating wings
in the clouds above.

As you turned to go, I heard you call my name.
You were like a bird in a cage, spreading its
wings to fly.
'The old ways are lost', you sang as you flew
and I wondered why......"~The Old Ways by Loreena McKennitt

Nossa Senhora do casaco vermelho

Sat, 26 Mar 2005 08:01:55 GMT

Wild winds take me home, to the mists of down below....

On the corner of Congress and Ferry five waiters are having the last drags of their ciggarets before starting their dinner shift watching me with glazed eyes as I pass by heading to a place where a future is just a past in fast forward backwards and dying under the train station bridge and on Lafayette i send kisses to Santa Maria, like me and my sister used to. And the ever virgin watches me from far above standing on the world hands out stretched in half embrace rays from her hands are wings to my heart past La Botanica the old man watches me from the inside you head west he used to tell me cause he'd always see me running from dawn to dusk from east to west from where things start to where the end on the other side of town I catch the 39 on some borrowed money hoping to build myself another life and renting out this one for now and from ecudorian taxis to pick up trucks you can feel this city breathing from baby's mama's on the corner to how far a $1.10 can get Lord knows i've seen it all before but i haven't lost my faith just my conifidence in the back of a cop car on a hot summer night but my intuation is right up there hanging on the last candle of St. Stephen's church on five corners waiting for the dogwoods to bloom...I can't stay long here only a day, but if could tell you one last thing it woudl be that i've only known one thing to be true its that God has blessed the broken road too.........

Andorinha

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 05:23:18 GMT

Bleed Blood red or Bleed Blood blue Bleed whatever you may chose just remember darlin' all blood stains the same

God Bless the Broken Road

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 23:07:28 GMT

Mists of Down Below

Wild wind, take me home
To the mists of down below
I'll be flying come December day
With no borders in my way
You'll find me home until the May sun burns
The heavy mists of down below

I see the rivers flooding strong
And people wishing they belonged
Free for anywhere they want to go
When they pray they can look to the sky
And they'd see me as I pass by
Heading to the mists of down below

Without fields ripe from rain
There is no way to feed my pain
Until I fly to mists of down below
But down below is not my fate
There is no land from where I came
Not even mists of old Mexico

So I looked hard at reasons for
The drifters going door to door
Dreaming of the mists of down below
But I'm sure they'd go anywhere they could
If wings became their neighborhoods
And there'd be nowhere they wouldn't know

~The Duhks

Diamond Girl

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 01:09:46 GMT

A very Happy birthday!!! to my baby Sofia I hope all your wishes and dreams come true love. Happy 21 :)